Dating is a difficult feat at the best of times, and it seems as though the days of flowers on the first date, and picking someone up at the door are long gone. So how do you really get by in the modern world of dating? There must be some way to decipher all the codes and games out there and find the romantic happily ever after hidden beneath, right? Well, maybe…but the first thing you need to do, is accept the truth of what you’re dealing with. So here are some hard facts about modern dating that will help you get a realistic view of love in our futuristic times.
1. The Person who cares least wins
This may seem like a petty, or strange thing to say, but it’s actually true. If you’re the person in your relationship who obviously cares way more about the other, then the chances are you’re going to lose the upper-hand in that scenario. The person who cares the least has absolutely all of the power.
2. Nobody really ‘talks’ to each other anymore
The whole ‘You hang up – No you hang up’ phone-based interaction from the past has become a dying art. The chances are that most of the interaction you have with your significant other (if you’re not directly next to one-another, that is) will be either through text or social media. It may seem quicker, and simpler, but it’s also the most detached form of interaction, and good luck figuring out what someone means by a certain sentence if you don’t have tone of voice to go by.
3. It’s impossible to decipher psychological games from actual disinterest
Because we all want to be the ‘cool’ person in our relationship, we have these psychological games that we simply have to play, such as intentionally taking hours, or days to text back. A person being blasé because they genuinely don’t have an interest in you may seem exactly the same as a person who is being blasé because they really like you, and they’re making a conscious effort to play it cool. So good luck deciphering between the two.
4. Your creep-level is directly correlated to how attractive you are
If you’re incredibly hot, (at least to the person you’re trying to seduce) then standing outside of their window in the pouring rain at some ridiculous time just to see their face from the window may be considered incredibly romantic. However, if the person in question doesn’t think you’re cute, then you’re simply crossing into stalker level.
5. Your text message/instant message did go through
So you sent a message like, 2 hours ago, and you’ve still had no response, even though you were talking fine with one another only moments before. Maybe you’re on Facebook and you’ve even got the little ‘seen’ notification. Stop telling yourself that something went wrong with the technology or your message didn’t reach the other party. 99% of the time, it did, and if they’re not replying, it has nothing to do with tech. Sorry.
6. You’re either going to break up or stay together forever
The hard truth of relationships that isn’t just applicable to modern-day times, is this: every single romantic relationship you engage in is destined to end in one of two ways. Either you’re going to break up, and potentially cry your heart out over a tub of ice-cream, or you’re going to stay together forever. What most people fail to realize, is that both of these eventualities can be equally terrifying concepts.
7. People will usually take the easy way out of a relationship
Technology has made it easier than ever for people to take the simple route when it comes to breaking up, which means that if you’re going to get dumped, it’s probably going to hurt like a bitch. Now that people have the opportunity to send a long text and end the relationship without seeing the tears streaming down your face, quick, sharp and completely detached breakups are here to stay. It may not be the most considerate route, but it’s certainly the easiest option for the other party.
8. Telling someone how you really feel is too difficult
These days, actually trying to come up with the words to say how you feel about someone is too difficult, and honestly, makes you too damn vulnerable, for you to express them out loud. Long gone are the days when men used to write poems and sonnets for their loved ones. Today, instead of expressing how they feel directly to your face, your other half is more likely to post a Facebook status with a song lyric, quote or YouTube video directed (subtly) towards you. #Romantic.
9. Just because they hurt you, doesn’t mean they’re miserable
Again, this truth isn’t exclusively suitable for modern-day relationships, but it seems to be more obvious these days. Once upon a time, breaking someone’s heart made you seem like an utter asshole to the rest of the population, and you didn’t get the opportunity to immediately go out and pick up another girl or guy. Today, someone who hurt you isn’t automatically going to have a sucky experience, those women or men that betray, cheat, and leave you in the dust are just as likely to move on happily with their life, while you struggle to pick up the pieces of your trust.
10. People aren’t as moral as they used to be
Sadly, today there are plenty of people out there who don’t have the slightest bit of interest in respecting your relationship. If they decide that they want the person that you’re with, then they will have absolutely no issues with overstepping every boundary to get them, regardless of what you might think. The whole Guy-code, Girl-code, look out for your friends deal is a think of the past, and moral code simply isn’t a standard issue with everyone.