Body-image issues, quirks, weird habits, goal-talks, future plans, marriage and babies. Almost everyone wants to keep these so called “taboo topics” for the later to ensure that the first date goes easy-breezy and perfect as a fairy-tale. But surprisingly, these are some of the topics that can get the ball rolling, break the ice and get straight into the real talk and as a result, actually enjoy the experience of a first date. Don’t believe it? Read on to open your mind up and finally understand the know-how of a first date.
Cut to the chase and make better use of time!
If you start with the controversial topics, chances of your date getting turned off (if he/she isn’t the one for you) are super high. Because it forces out all the differences and voila, the date could end early. Your time is precious. Why waste it with the wrong one? So, no wastage of time by “hanging around for the heck of it” if you’re really not interested.
On the other hand, the right one will make an effort to positively deal with the differences and strive to strike a balance. The more you get to know the right one, the better is the sense of understanding of what each of you wants from each other, the definite deal-breakers and the ideas both of you are open to.
Quit playing the game of impressing each other because “Trying” to get someone’s attention is honestly, a turn-off. Agreed, you want to be the best version of yourself in terms of your physical appearance, the way you present yourself etc. And that is awesome! But, the best version of yourself is the one who owns it all. Own everything up. Your imperfections, quirks etc. The right one will embrace it all. So relax, keep it real, simple and effortless. If you guys are meant to be together, the cupid shall make it happen!
This is where the real fun happens. You easily get to know if you have a future with the person, if the person is humorous, open/narrow-minded and his/her lessons from the past relationships. The “perfect” person will just let you be, encourage realistic, open conversations and allow you to let your walls down. If you guys can sort out differences on the very first date, imagine how wonderful your future with the date would be?
Are you confident and humble enough?
These two qualities surpass every aspect of physical attraction. Yes, physical attraction is important. But a relationship does not solely function on just that right? Confidence and humility nourish a relationship and keep the spark alive for really long (maybe, forever). Self-confidence shows how accepting the other person is of his/her own self. Are they able to accept their imperfections? If they don’t, then how can you expect them to be accepting of your flaws? Humility brings stability to the relationship. It is as perfectly true as it rhymes.
You know what’s hot and sexy? The ability of the person to look right into your eyes and embrace taboo subjects and questions with genuine curiosity. Even hotter is to realize that your date is self-aware and secure enough to not “play it cool”.
Let’s get the discomfort out. Talk about your exes and past relationship
Ironically, the most interesting of the “taboo topics”. This will play out the personality and character of your date like a movie. Just keep quiet and listen. You’ll get all your answers. It’ll speak volumes about who they are as individuals, their ability to forgive and let-go, and if they haven’t gotten over their resentments and unresolved problems. Now that information is quite crucial and juicy.
In order to have a passionate, healthy sex-life and to “keep it going” , it is vital that you be aware of your date’s past relationships and vice versa, know the person deeply and grow with them. It will also keep your protected from major deal-breakers like infidelity or dishonesty. Isn’t that a huge energy saver?
Allow yourself to have the best time. Cut the BS already
Dating makes you go through a roller-coaster of emotions from being let down by your lack of connection to them to getting excited about your dates. But that’s just how it is. Sometimes, you’ll come across people you don’t connect with at all and zero chemistry and that will block you from letting your guards down.
But, when you happen to meet the “right one”, do yourself and your date a major favor by cutting the BS and straight up talking real. The most amazing thing about being humans is the ability to intimately connect. So why not make the best of being humans, really explore and walk the path of reality? Just let go off your silly insecurities and open-up. You’ll be amazed at how wonderful you are and how accepting your date is of you.
Big talk equals being original
Since we already spoke about how important privileged we are as humans to have an intimate human connection, this wouldn’t come as a surprise to you. Listening has become so rare lately that humans crave for attention and to be listened to. That makes for real good honest conversations and allows you to have an in-depth understanding of your date. Besides, what’s the point of talking about what you already know? Rather, keep your senses wide open to your date and deeply understand him/her.
Talk about your core-values, see if it matches with your date’s core-values and if the differences are not deal-breakers and if they can be easily sorted. It will test the ability of your date to breeze through confrontations, the not-so-good topics and reality. Bringing these topics up will allow you to cut to the chase and understand if you really are able to connect with the person. Purposeful avoidance of taboo topics, small-talks and the inability to be in the moment and patiently listen are all against the values of keeping it real and enjoying your first date.
Photo credit: flickr