What do you do if you are haunted by your ex? There is no need to run off and get an ouija board, as we are talking about a real, living person here. Haunting is a new trend in dating, which is equal parts annoying and creepy. It is when an ex, whom you thought was gone from your life for good, sneaks into your online world by following you on your social media accounts.
How does haunting work?
Let’s say you broke up with someone a few months back. You have completely forgotten about them and you have moved on. Suddenly, one fine day, you notice that the ex has liked one of your tweets. You think it is just a coincidence and move on. And then you notice that they have re-tweeted one of your tweets too. You get a little suspicious, but still do not think it is a big deal. Shortly after, you notice that your ex has been religiously following all your Instagram and Snapchat stories. Only then you realize that your ex is basically stalking you in the digital world.
Why haunting is completely inappropriate
When two people break up – whether the breakup is clean or messy – it is time for them to move on. While there is nothing wrong if your ex tries to win you back, especially if they think you are the right person for them and if they feel like they made a mistake by breaking up with you, the way they go about it matters the most.
If your ex still has feelings for you and think that your relationship deserves a second chance, they should be open about it. They should reach out to you, tell you sincerely how they feel about you, apologize for any mistakes that they made in the past that might have led to the breakup, and then ask you if you are willing to give them another chance. If you still refuse to do so, they need to just accept it and move on. It is the right thing – and the appropriate thing – to do.
Haunting a person online, on the other hand, is the very definition of inappropriate behavior for a number of reasons.
It sends mixed messages
If your ex haunts you, you can never be sure if they are genuinely apologetic about breaking up with you or just trying to mess with you. After all, the very nature of haunting is passive aggressive – they never try to actively communicate with you. They just lurk in the shadows and like, re-tweet, or even leave a comment or two on your posts. It really makes you wonder what their true intentions are. After all, if they are genuinely interested, a DM or an email stating their intention should be a good start, right? Instead, they decide to stalk you, letting you know that they are still around, and send you confusing signals. It is completely inappropriate – something that no one should ever be on the receiving end of.
It prevents you from moving on
One of the positives about breaking up with someone you do not like is that you get to move on with your life. You are free to date someone else, look for people whose interests are more aligned with yours, and may be even settle down with someone if you feel that they are the right person. If you, however, have an ex stalking you online, you might not be able to move on with your love life at all. After all, how are you supposed to start dating other people when you know that your ex is still lurking somewhere in the darkest crevices of the digital world and stalking you? It is a very unsettling feeling and can prevent you from having a healthy social life.
You never know what they will do next
While a few likes, favorites, and re-tweets can be safely ignored, if your ex decides to take it to the next level, things might get really awkward and creepy. In one case, an ex used to leave comments on a girl’s social media posts that were highly personal and slightly creepy in nature. ‘I see you have found someone else’, ‘I see you have shed a few after our breakup’, ‘Kudos on the new apartment’, and so on. The girl was so thoroughly spooked that she was hesitant to go on a date with other persons. She apparently told her friends, ‘what if they turn out to be like my ex too?’
What to do if you are haunted
As difficult as it sounds, the best way to deal with haunting exes is to ignore them completely. Block them from viewing your social media posts or change your settings to private and make sure what you post online are visible only to those who are in your current social circle.
Tell all your friends about your haunting problem and make sure all of them block your ex as well. The important thing is to deny them access to your social life. Once you block them off completely, they might eventually give up chasing you.
If, on the other hand, if you have lingering feelings for your ex and think that they might be trying to reach out to you, you might want to give them a second chance. If you think that your ex is still thinking about you and misses you badly, you might want to reciprocate those feelings, especially if you are still single and have not found anyone else. In such cases, it might be worth a shot to give them a second chance.
It all depends, however, on a number of factors – What kind of person is your ex? Was your breakup normal or was it a painful breakup which was preceded by months of strained, stressful relationship? Are you emotionally stable and calm enough to decide whether or not your ex deserves a second chance? Your response to your ex’s haunting depends on your answers to these questions.
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